waiting and hoping

waiting and hoping and wishing

worse part of starting something. where your inner demons torment and toy with your hopes and dreams. where occasionally your inner angels manages to paint a rainbow in your mind.

For all the optimism that i show throughout my life, i am inherently a bit apprehensive when it comes to my own self. As in, I never really regard myself as a catch / charmer / suave / sophisticated etc. Thus when it comes to matters of the heart and the opposite sex, i never really tot of myself as someone desirable. Even though i've been though somewat of a transformation last year, the lingering doubt of myself still exists and serves to "play" with me. Especially nowadays...

how to ressolve?
a single word will suffice
failing that, good friends, great wine/beer/liquor and lotsa desserts helps too :p